in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
