To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
