conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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