Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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