I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
