my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
