addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You can't motorboat a personality
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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