jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize