There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
