And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
