"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My pussy is not your playground.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
