was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
