he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
the raccoons are back...
Randomize