I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
