So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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