I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize