I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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