Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
