Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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