its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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