and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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