i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
