i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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