Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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