i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
