the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
