some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
