i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize