I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
