So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
