Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
