That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize