is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
