smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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