Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
