Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My penis needs a shock collar
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
