just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
