They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
