hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
