The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
They took my balls.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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