i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
