Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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