You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
