in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
