Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i now understand why vodka
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
