I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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