It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
