You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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