I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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