He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
