Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Is Oprah even human
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
