she was so not down for the gang bang
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
