Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
