Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
