its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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