sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
