I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
