At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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