No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
