I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
