I must be too annoying 4 u.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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