If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
