we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
