dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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