Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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