i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize