i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
