The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
