So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
