ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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