Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
