I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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