Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
