____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
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