Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
