I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
