Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
