I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Randomize
