They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
