I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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