Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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