this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
