if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
